I love the rain!!!

I love the rain. Not really so much in February, when everyone is sick of winter and wants to go to the beach already, but now, in October. I'm sitting with the window open listening to the rain on our porch and it is just the most delicious sound I have ever heard.

Me loving the rain is I think one of the reasons why I have this blog. Most people would grow tired of hearing about how much I love the rain quite quickly. Here I can express it to my hearts content (since my readership is close to nil anyway), and not worry that I'm boring anyone. If you're bored, you'll browse away. Just come back soon please.

More boring information - we had a terrific dinner tonight. Ben suggested we use up our stovetop chicken and veggies in a tomato sauce over shells. Such a great idea, and it tasted really good. We had peas and baby corn and onions, as well as lots of yummy chicken juice.

And....we got some of our posters framed!! Ben and I as singles were both really big on posters, still love art, our house is covered with it. And we have some really terrific posters that we always hung, but never framed, because it just was never in the budget. I mean, frames? Who has money for that? We just hung them without the frames. But now, after painting, we really didn't want to make holes in the wall if we were just going to move them later, so we decided not to put anything up until it had a frame on it. So we framed our Dali's Aliah, our Zeev Raban's Come to Palestine, and our Monet's San Giorgio Maggiore at Sunset. The Monet Ben bought on our first date (not for me, I just helped him pick it out), so it holds a special place in our hearts.

There is something about framing our posters that makes me feel like - this is it. We're here, we've made it. Money comes and money goes, but if we can feel comfortable enough to frame our posters, we are doing all right.

So Thank God for rain, Thank God for frames. And Thank God for Ben's chicken recipes.

Eden and Her Music

I think that sometimes its hard to think of little kids as anything but bits of mom and bits of dad. Sometimes I find myself watching Eden and thinking - wow, that's just like me, or that's just like Ben. And I'm surprised when she does things that are totally herself. Actually, now that I think of it, I rarely see things that are totally herself, I see Ben's parents in her, especially now that she spends so much time with them. I see my own parents, and even my grandparents in her.
For example, she's got a smile that comes straight from my Bubbe, and it warms my heart to see it.

And the other night, when she wanted to show me a picture she had drawn, I told her to bring it here. She said, no, you come here. We both stretched and only just could not reach each other. She learned that I can out-stubborn her, even if I am perhaps the only person that can. I've got 22 years of stubbornness on her, and its going to be a long time until she truly wins a staring contest.*

That all probably ought to change, and soon. But in the meantime, one thing that she gets from Ben is his music. He listens to the nuttiest music! Aside from the regular GD, Phish (both of which he listened to non-stop for the first 2 years of our marriage, utterly ruining my music appreciation), Dylan, DMB, regular-kinds-of-things, he's got Tyrannosaurus Rex, Skip Spence, Artcic Monkeys, Anthony and the Johnsons, Carla Bruni, Beirut, Love, My Morning Jacket, Songs-Ohia, and Spain. Oh, and must include The Thermals also. I never listen to any of these, unless he's in the room and puts it on.

I keep to my angry-bitch music, like prolific Ani Difranco and calming Tracy Chapman, and the ever easy, companionable Gal-Gal-Galatz.

I also love Wikipedia :)

Eden's not so big any of my music, and prefers T-Rex and especially dancing to Phish. We are all musical products of our parents music. I wonder what she will listen to when she gets older?

* I do let her win every now and then. It helps keep the thunder at bay.

Saba Tuvia for Mayor!

Its election fever here in Modiin, and almost every building has at least one campaign sign hanging from a porch gate.
One candidate, Doron Shuldenfrei, happens to look somewhat similar to one of Eden's favorite DVD characters - Saba Tuvia.

See for yourself -
Saba Tuvia:Doron:
Ok, so really, they are only just both bald with glasses. But in the dark, looking from the street to a sign that's three stories up, to our 3 year old its the same person.

Needless to say, Eden would now also like a "Saba Tuva" sign swinging from our porch!

And imagine if we had Saba Tuvia running our city council!

I wonder how many other parents of 3 yr olds here wonder the same thing....

Some More Bits on Schools

The holidays have allowed me time for reading, surfing, blogging. There is still lots to clean up, but we are just going to make a mess again over the next Shabbat-Hag-Shabbat, so I might as well clean it somewhat before Shabbat - why now?

Just read a post at adderabbi, who happens to live here in Modiin, about Chareidi teachers, such as Eden's. He's right - the best and the brightest don't go into medicine or law, they go into teaching. Which is fine with me, except that we risk raising another generation of Chareidi leaning children.

But, as Ben says, if you never teach your child shtuss, they will never learn to question.

Was discussing ganim with some friends, where I found that in the regular city ganim, only the boys are chazanim also, so it's not only Eden's Chareidi gan. Which made me feel better about her relative education, but leaves me questioning the system in general. Not that the system here differs that much idealogically than center-right Orthodox education worldwide. I wonder what sort of an effect leading group prayers has a on a child. What if I had been allowed to daven for the ammud in 5-8th grade? Points to ponder.

Nature or Nurture?

Overheard from downstairs:
Eden: "But I don't like the grilled cheese."
Ben: "Well then what would you like to eat?"
Eden: "I don't know."
Ben: "Let's go look in the fridge."
Eden: "I need to make a list."

Have a problem that needs a solution? Make a list!

Moments like this make me proud.

In an Alternate Life

Job opp advertised on the nefeshbnefesh email list. Once upon a time, I trained as a librarian, and if I had a different life, different family, different social, financial, and personal needs, I might have made this a realistic goal. At the moment, I can only dream and keep at my technical writing, which fulfills a good amount of my actual social, financial, and personal needs. Oh, and be grateful for what I have instead of wishing for what I don't.

The National Library of Israel

The Book and Paper Conservation Department

Job opening

Senior Book Conservator

Responsibilities include:

- Providing condition assessments, identifying appropriate preservation and conservation treatments, and undertaking the documentation, conservation treatment, and housing of the material
- Assisting in the preparation of exhibitions of a wide range of paper objects, early prints and manuscripts from the Library's Rare Collections and Archives
- Working in tandem with other members of the preservation, conservation, exhibition, photography, and imaging units within the Library and outside it.
- Contributing to conservation surveys, and together with the Curators and the Head of the Conservation Department, establishing conservation priorities and treatment strategies for the collections.
- Additional duties may include assisting with the implementation of preservation programs such as the education of patrons, monitoring environmental controls, integrated pest management, emergency preparedness and response.

Required Qualifications:

- A Masters Degree or certificate in Conservation and a minimum of five years working experience in a museum or library, or a combination of equivalent formalized advanced training and experience in the conservation of books and paper materials.

- The ability to work independently, as well as with a team, good decision-making and problem-solving skills.

- Strong interpersonal, oral and written communication skills.

- Good computer skills.

- High level of proficiency in English. Knowledge of Hebrew is necessary.

Full time position. Salary commensurate with qualifications, and experience.

Applications will be accepted no later than 1/01/2009

Send resume and relevant certificates stating the position no. 08/15 to:

The National library of Israel

Human resources Dept., P.O.Box 39105, Jerusalem 91390

Have You Seen Me Lately

Because I haven't.....
I've been feeling under the weather, not feeling myself really. This morning I decided that I couldn't face 6 AM traffic and that I'd work at home. I ended up sleeping in until 7:30. Mmm... good times.

I've also been busy. I found the one shoemaker in Modiin - hooray!! - whose store is around the corner from Eden's gan, and I've taken all my shoes that have needed fixing over the past year. I'm so excited for shoes! He actually tried to convince me to buy new ones, since they were cheap boots anyway, but I told him no way. I'm sick of shopping for clothes. That does not say that I do not need more clothes, just that I'm sick of looking for them.

The Shabbat-Hag-Shabbat-Hag-Shabbat-Hag-Shabbat-Hag (it does seem to go on forever doesn't it) leaves us alternately rushing to prepare and sleeping and hanging out in the park all afternoon being lazy. Eden has moved from her "Guess what Eden, tonight its Hag/Shabbat, and we're going to Shul!" - "Again?!?" to "Why?"
Why what Eden, why are we going to shul? Why is it Hag or Shabbat? We've been ducking out on the shul at some points, I can understand why someone would have enough of it.

We put up some more art on the wall, makes us love the house a little more. Curtains are still, yes still, yet to come. Frames too.

Eden came home from gan today with terrific sukkah decorations. We hung them and made some more. Thanks to gans and kids, I plan on our sukkah getting better and better every year.

I think of some great blog posts a few times a day, but never remember them later. This is one of those times that I'm not remembering them later, andso I'm just sharing a stream of conciousness. Thanks for stopping by and Shana Tova :)

Flipping Through

My new surfing technique is to click the little "Next Blog" link at the top of blog pages. I'm tired of Slate, the local Modiin list, and the variety of other pages I read when I waste time.

Many things not in English, but even on those there are some nice pictures from places all over the world. Some languages I can't begin to recognize. In fact the majority are NOT in English. Most are in an Asian language.

I read a post, look at pictures. Read About Mes.

Check out these coasters. I'd like to have them, if I lived different life and had a different sort of house and family.

My heart rises at photography like Jon R's. A lot of people probably think these are boring but I like them. Once upon a time I dabbled in photography myself. If I ever have the time and money, I'd love to do it again. And I'd have a photography blog, with my best photos of the day.

I came to the EvilPig's blog twice in 10 minutes of Next Blog-ing, so I'm not sure how great this function is really. I couldn't read it of course, and also wasn't so impressed with the graphics. Although I suppose I'm not one to talk, never having graphics myself here. I also came to Custom Paper Toys twice, and although I can read it and the pictures are nice, it looked too boring to even read the first post.

dance as though no one is watching you, love as though you have never been hurt before, sing as though no one can hear you, live as though heaven is on earth. -souz

That's a quote I would have doodled on my notebook in high school in white out pen. It sounds pretty, so it doesn't matter whether you understand it or agree with it.

Now - on to my Friday list. Shabbat Shalom and Shana Tova to all.

P.S. Not wasting time was not one of my New Year's resolutions this year. I cannot bear to give it up.

My Thoughts About Fasting

I don't like it.
I also don't think I'm very alone in this feeling - most people I know would prefer a full belly to an empty one, in general. Some make exception for religious fasts, and some agree with me - we still don't like it.

Not only do I not like it, but I don't get it really. Being that I'm towards the end of a pretty easy fast (I woke up at 5 AM to have coffee and cereal), I'll try to explain coherently. I wonder how many Orthodox Jews agree with me? Who can convince me otherwise? I'm all ears.

My question is - what is the purpose of the fast? As I've been taught, it's meant to provoke a feeling of seriousness , introspection, atonement.

Which might be very well and good if I lived in a vacuum, just for the day even, and could spend it in seriousness, introspection and atonement. And even then, I find myself faltering at about now - 5:25 PM - and think that a drink of water or a small cracker would do wonders for my capabilities of self-analysis, forgiveness of others, and focusing on the wrongs in the world and within ourselves. I'm not talking about a full course meal here, a piece of bread and some water would be fine. Stale bread would do as well.

Aside - we could have a whole market of "fast day food". It would come pre-packaged, in appropriate sizes. Not too much - we want that growling stomach to remind us of whatever it is we are supposed to be thinking about. But just enough to get the brain cells going. And a small cup of water, just enough to see that our breath doesn't smell and others can stand to allow us to open our mouths around them. Packaged in recycled materials of course so that we can be sure of our morality at least on a fast day.

Back the point I was making. I don't live at the times that these fasts were enacted, and I can't say what the working man was doing then. But now, in 2008, I really can't skip out on work for a religous fast. (Yom Kippur - yes, but that is Shabbat Shabbaton, and we don't drive, use electricity, or manage money. But I'll get to Yom Kippur specifically in a minute.) Maybe if I were really dedicated to my religon and the inspiration provided for me by the fast, I would take advantage of Eden's pre-school and take the vacation day and spend it in study, introspection, and prayer. I guess I'm just not that dedicated enough. It might be nice to live in a world where I could be. I'd probably get there at the same time that I take off for Chol Hamoed, enjoying the holiday spirit with my family, instead of working my butt off to make up for the work missed because I'm home with Eden who does not have pre-school during Chol Hamoed. Not that I don't love being home with Eden, but I just don't have enough vacation days to take off for every Jewish 1/2 holiday and fast day. Even with my Israeli-govt given holidays. If one day I do have the vacation days? I might really think about it. Although I do admit it will be difficult to trade that for a month in Venice.

What did the working man (or woman!!) do? Did they really fast and work in the fields at the same time? Tishrei is harvest time - did they really let the fields go for the day while they studied, prayed, and introspected? Or did they spend the entire day in the fields with no drink or food?

Granted I did not spend the day in the fields. But I did spend a good hour on the Israeli high-ways while fasting. Seems I was tireder than I thought and I should have left earlier or had a caffiene pill. It might be argued that driving tired and hungry on the Israeli highways might be compared to working in the middle-eastern fields while fasting.

This post is taking the long way around. I blame the lack of glutens. Excuse me. What I'm trying to say is that I don't know if these fasts were really meant for everyone. For all time. We just aren't the same people with the same abilities that we once were. We have to work on fast days and not everyone is up to it. Not everyone has the ability to take the time off.

The second thing I wanted to say is about being a mom. Thank God we have some movies for Eden to watch, or we would never have gotten through 9 Av. Thank God I have a Ben who is watching a movie with Eden now, or I wouldn't be writing this post - I'd be watching with her. Is this really what I want to teach her - that fast days are movie days because Mommy can't deal with active parenting? Someone important died, great lets get Disney out. Seriously, seriously not. And what to do on Yom Kippur? For Eden, its just another day that we go to shul, pray, don't color or watch movies, don't braid hair. And on top of that ALSO don't go to the park because Mommy and Daddy are really not with it. For me, its just another day of trying to keep Eden busy and happy while not using electronics, or the park. And also not eating or drinking, and trying my hardest to get some prayer in!

To finally get to my Yom Kippur points, this is the hardest. Fasting on Yom Kippur really does nothing for me. If anything, it angers me a bit, which is not something I want to be doing on our Day of Atonement. If God wants me to atone - if I want me to atone - why fast? Fasting makes me irritable, tired, cranky. Not open to self-criticism. It doesn't make me feel holy, it makes me feel hungry. (To be fair, I think I really did have good Yom Kippurs back when I had only me to think about, and only me my relationship with God and my people to focus on. How terribly selfish.)

Do other working moms get more out of fasting than I do? I wish I knew, and I wish I knew how. I'm talking about without high-holiday babysitting, that seems to be a Young Israel-invented luxury. Maybe people with more spirituality than myself. I have to try hard to make room for religon in my life - which I do because I think its important, and I generally enjoy it - but its very difficult to make room for religous fasting on top of that.

You might say that religon isn't all enjoyable. Sometimes we do it as a sacrifice, a pennance. That the purpose isn't atonement, but rather accepting the yoke of God. Better spend the day sleeping in bed because you have no energy from the fast, than to eat a small bit and have the ability to stand all day in prayer. Its possible, but it doesn't seem to make me a better person, and I feel no better afterwards for having done it for those reasons.

I fast because I'm an Orthodox Jew and we fast on certain days. And I've chosen to be part of a community, and am generally happy about my choice. I think there is a good amount of flexibility found in Orthodox Judaism today (sometimes you have to look hard!), and this is one of our rules. You want to be a part of the community, accept the communities fasts. And I understand the neccesity of something so extreme that it carries forth throughout generations. A fast will do this - study and introspection and anything else dependant on the individual will not. All the same, I really can't agree with it. Fasting doesn't seem to do for me what it sounds like its supposed to. I can't imagine that I'm the only one who thinks this way.

Conclusion: I think fasting is something that needs to be rethought a bit. Its a pretty radical conclusion, seeing as fasting is indicated in the Torah itself. But there must be other, serious minded Modern Orthodox Jews who are having similar thoughts, and I'm curious to where it can go. Traditions for the sake of tradition are only so strong, and are bound to break. I'm all for keeping the meaning of the tradition alive, but I think we need to find a new way to do this. Suggestions welcome.