Working on English

Having made a decision to sign Eden up for dance this year over English lessons, I keep wondering how we can bolster her English skills. At the moment, she speaks English fine, although sometimes very simple words slip her mind, like colors. She knows the ABCs, but cannot recognize all the letters, never mind the sounds.
I guess I'd like to imagine that she will pick it up quickly when she does start to learn it in school, and hopefully, she will be able to join the English for English speakers classes. Here in Modiin, parents are so meticulous about getting their kids' English skills up to par though, that I wonder.
A friend of mine with a son about Eden's age says that she does not send him to English classes, although she does work with him on English every day. That's tough I think, spending our time together in the evenings working on something that isn't completely enjoyable. She gets annoyed with it. This friend of mine also is home in the afternoons, and I imagine has a lot more time to spend on it. Somehow I just can't imagine fitting it in between 5 PM pick up time and 8 PM bed time, along with dinner, bath, play, just enjoying eachother's company. Never mind Baby.
Makes me think about exactly how important her English skills are to me. Yes, its of utmost importance that she can carry on an intelligent conversation with English speakers (such as her grandparents, great-grandparents, and myriads of cousins). Yes, it would be nice if she could read and write decently as well - well enough to communicate with the above and also to serve her well in the business world in the future. (That's everyone's excuse for pushing English - its a global economy! She'll make more money if she reads and writes English well. When we all know that WE just communicate better in English and would prefer that she does also!) But at the end of the day, do I need to prepare her for the SAT's? Does she really need to be prepared for ANYTHING - including college in the US? What am I doing moving to Israel if I think she might be going back at some point? Or is that really just her decision, and I should leave all of her options open.
At the end of the day, she needs to be able to express herself in writing. In a language. She also needs to be (like me!) a voracious reader and seeker of information. In a language. And most of all, she needs to be able to do that at a young age - now, and through college. That's when I want to hear what she has to say - when she's 15, I want her to be able to write a term paper that she's proud of. Eventually, a college essay that really expresses who she is. At 10, a paper expressing her opinion of a book she read, or what she did on her summer vacation. Do I care that she does it in English or Hebrew? I'd prefer that she does it in a language I can read of course, but maybe that just means that my Hebrew needs to get better. I'd prefer she does it well.
Where am I going with all this.....at the end of a long day, I'd prefer to hear about her day - in English or in Hebrew - and tell me how she felt about it, than sit for 45 minutes and work on the ABCs. I'd prefer to cuddle over a story that I read to her - in English! - than sit at the table drilling letter sounds. I hope that's enough, and hope that looking back in 20 years, she's happy we preferred that too.

Baby news: Nothing. Am keeping close to home today though. Should probably be walking around to get this moving instead of sitting and blogging...but....I am just so so tired.

** Note: If it turns out that she is not a voracious reader and seeker of information, that is OK too and I will not love her any less is she turns out completely different from me.

Daddy Bear wears pink, and My decision to not wait any longer

I spent the day today with Eden. We did lots of things. One thing in particular:
You know how no matter how much people try to turn kids gender non-specific? Buying their boys dolls, and their girls trucks, and so forth. And then the boys just end up shooting off their dolls' heads, and the girls end up dressing up the trucks. And no matter what, all little girls want to be princesses, brides, or mommies when they grow up.
Well, today, Eden dressed her Daddy Bear all in pink. Granted he did come with a pink bunny suit, which is soft and cuddly and cute, but has also actually been on him for about 3 full days in the past 4.5 years. Especially since she started to call him Daddy Duby (Daddy Bear). Well today, he was totally decked out in the pink bunny suit, plus her pink plush winter hat.
I asked her if she thought it was a little funny that he was wearing all pink. Does she know any boys who wear pink? Her response, "Well he likes pink. He also likes blue and yellow and green. He likes all the colors."
And we weren't even trying :). Eden's favorite color? Yellow!

Also - decision: I am no longer waiting for this baby. That does NOT mean that we are going to the hospital tonight. Also, it does not mean anything else. All it means is that I am no longer waiting with bated breath. I'm wearing the clothes I packed for the hospital, and they are actually dirty, and will have to be washed again if I want to take them with me. I stopped putting my deodorant back in the bag for fear I'll forget it. I'm not thinking that we are going to the hospital every night. I've resigned myself to the idea that this could last another 2 weeks or more, and I'm just going to enjoy myself. Or, at least as best I can, back aching, belly aching, legs aching, and feet so swollen that my crocs are tight. (Can you believe it?!!?) Getting through my last week at work and doing my best to get some sort of supper on the table (Ben, there's leftover pizza in the fridge. Want to stick it in the oven?)

I'm not really conscious of a real change in myself, but Ben has noticed it. He hasn't exactly called me "lazy", but did say how out of character it is for me to not be able to move much. He points out that I let other people serve themselves when they come to visit (normally my kitchen is off limits), and that when my sister came for Shabbat last, I let her strip the bed. He realizes that it just hurts to move, and has been fantastic about it. I do think that he probably looks forward to the time when the independent go getter that he married comes home again though. I don't blame him, and I think that I do too. It'd be nice to eat something decent and get the laundry put away faster. Let's hope this baby is nice and calm.

At arrivals

No, not yet.
I feel similar to someone waiting at arrivals at the airport. Let's say its someone you love, someone you haven't seen in a long time, someone that you want to dash out and hug the minute, nay, split second, you see them. And you know that their flight has landed, and they are just getting their bags.
And its Ben Gurion right before the holidays. And the person you are waiting for will be wearing a black hat and suit.
Ok so not likely that I'd run out and hug that person. But let's just say.
And they don't have a cellphone so you can find out where they are. And their bags are the last to come through. And you even got to the airport early, well, just in case. After all, there might have been traffic.
Every person you see coming through those doors, you say - is that them? Is that them? Is it? Now? Now? And you want to sit down and just rest, but you can't, because what if you miss that first look at them??!!!
Remember that huge screen they used to have at B.G., where you could see the people just a minute before they actually came out? And you watched both the screen and the door, even though you'd just seen those people on the screen?

Yeah, so that's me now.

Yesterday, my c-section scar started to hurt. A lot - like real, stinging pain. Like the kind of pain I don't remember feeling since it was closing up. And it hurt more when I touched it, and it certainly felt like it was stretching thin. At the time I didn't think too much of it.

I called my midwife this morning, just in case. And she said that as long as the baby is kicking and the pain feels like its on the skin only, and isn't really coming together with the contractions, its probably OK. But that if it made me feel better, it's definitely a reason to go down to the clinic for a monitor. I called the woman's clinic, who said regardless, it's definitely a reason to come down and get it checked out.

So down I went, a part of me thinking, wow - if they don't like this then I could be in the OR in just a couple hours. Too bad about all that VBAC prep, I'd rather get this baby out safely. And there goes future VBACs. And once again, tried to cancel meetings for tomorrow, send out status emails, think of last minute things to put in my bag, and prepare myself for the possibility that they'd say that just in case, they'd like to send me for another C. Of course you can refuse these things, but I'm not the woman to say, nah, I don't believe you and I'd rather hold out for my natural birth. Risking the life of this one and the possibility of never having any more children (that's basically what happens when a c-section scar rips). And I went down and got a monitor done. And an ultrasound. And then (whew!) met with a doctor to discuss it all. Who told me that all is fine, heartbeat and contractions both look great. And nothing doing just yet.

So I'm still here, watching that screen. What is it about human beings that draws us to paranoia?

Still waiting

It's been almost a week now since I first thought that we were heading to the hospital. The week has been - interesting. Almost every night, I've gone to bed with the idea that perhaps this was it. And then woke up in the morning to ... nothing.

I finally met with my midwife again yesterday. We kept scheduling meetings and then she had a birth, or another emergency and had to cancel. Well, at least she called, and was nice about it, and was eager to speak to me, find out how I was doing, and reschedule for as soon as possible.

She said that this could go on for another week. Or even longer. Was curious about whether I was going to go into September or not. September!!!!

The good news is I suppose that the longer this goes on, the easier the actual birth might be. Still no promises, but if we do the work over a period of 3 weeks, then there should be a lot less to do on the day of the birth right? Hopefully.....

Many people wonder why I don't take off from work already. The contractions are often strong enough to take my breath away, and I don't walk around so easily. Eden asked this morning why I wasn't coming with her and Daddy on their little tiyul, and I said - I can't walk from one end of the house to the other! I can't go on a tiyul! And yet, I'm not that tired, just my back aches a lot. If I was home already, I'd be bored out of my mind, or would be spending too much money on coffee dates. So I'm happy to still be working, and feeling very very lucky to work in a very understanding office. I worked at home 3 days last week. Thursday, I just woke up in the morning, felt a sore throat coming on, and decided it wasn't worth it. I rescheduled my meeting and decided to stay home working on the couch again with my feet up. It keeps me busy, keeps my mind active, and yet I have the flexibility to say when it's enough. I appreciate that not every office would say that. I suppose it helps that my direct manager is already out on maternity leave, and the rest of the office is busy enough to just have an extra pair of hands. It's actually quite relaxing, and I even enjoy it.

Our new rocking chair is divine. Very addicitive. I could sit it in for hours, just rocking. Big time waster. Thanks Grandma and Grandpa!

Waiting

A friend of mine is waiting for engineers and contractors and plumbers and the electric company. She's building a house, and has this picture on her blog:

That's exactly how I feel too.

Yesterday, I felt - well not real contractions, but definitely funny. All day. And then some contractions where I had to think - is that painful? Really? Is this it?

And then I really thought I was heading for the hospital. I was also nervous and anxious to pack. So I tried to wrap things up at work, updating status sheets, sending emails. I finished packing my bag, and even had to take my toothbrush out again this morning. I worried that I hadn't emptied the dishwasher, or packed a bag for Eden to take to her grandparents, and that there was no juice in the house. I asked Ben to copy all our remaining Scrubs and the Office episodes to the laptop. And I tried to think through all the contingencies.

However, at some point, I had to go to sleep. And I slept straight through the entire night, something I haven't done in a week or so. So here I am, still waiting. Ben thinks it could go on for another 2 weeks.

I feel like it could be any day now. But is that wishful thinking or a real gut instinct? And do I try to move it along or let it be - this baby will come in her own time?

Baby Update

I went for an ultrasound this morning to measure the baby's weight (totally approximate, most people I know have been somewhat-to-way off). She's weighing in at 2.900 kg, which is totally on target, and also totally basically full term. Kind of scary, thinking that I could possibly have another month to go at least, if I go until 42 weeks. Ben says unlikely, but you never know. Aughgh!

Other news- amniotic fluid is low. Not dangerously, but I'm going back next week to get it measured again. Maybe they'll induce early or even better maybe an emergency C section. A large part of me is still dreading having to push this baby out.

I do think we are finally ready. As of last week, we had nothing. 2 vacation days this week bought me lots of toiletries, nursing supplies, a new rocking chair (Ben thought we were getting a hanglider when I said "glider", so we don't use that word to avoid confusion). Also Ben put together the crib, moved the changing table into the baby's room. We are still re-arranging the things in Eden's room, but if we had the baby tomorrow (or today!), I'd feel prepared.

Baby Registry

Before Eden was born, we needed EVERYTHING. And, unfortunately, couldn't afford much. So when we registered, or were asked for gift suggestions, we said - basics. Clothing. Necessary furniture. Stroller. Car seat. Books. Etc. And when we bought things, we bought the cheapest thing we found first.
This time around, things are (thank God) a bit different. We have most everything already. I have a closet full of piles of baby clothes to sort and fold. (Of course we could use more. I think every baby deserves some outfits that were bought for HER and aren't 4.5 years old....). We have a crib, changing table, high chair, baby carrier, car seat, stroller. And what we don't have, or what was so junky we've already thrown it out, we are happy to buy again - newer and better quality. Living in a bigger city, we also have access to better stores.
But of course, the US is the den of consumerism, and I am a sucker for gadgets. Also, I had some good ideas for toys for Eden. So I started a very small baby registry for things that are small and packable/shippable from the US, battery powered if electric, useful, and fun, and not easily accessible here, or MUCH more expensive if so.
There isn't much on there just yet. Suggestions welcome.

The Great Barbie Debate

We're there. I have a four year old daughter, and another one on the way (SOON!!!) and am thinking of some good big-sis presents. Presents that say Eden on them, presents that she can play with by herself, feel big, and not be reminded that there is a screaming small thing in the other room taking up much of her mommy's and daddy's attention.
Hence, books about being a big sister are great. But they do kind of rub salt in the wound I think. Same goes for baby doll things for little kids, like the moby wrap I saw for kids and little strollers and cradles, etc.
Trying to brainstorm some other gifts, I came up with Barbies. True, Barbies also have lots of small pieces, but she's right at the age where she can dress them herself. The other day she wanted to cut one of her dolls hair - she wanted it "little, like yours". I said no....as it is, she puts leave in conditioner in them, which can't be great for it.
Anywhoo - do I really want to introduce Barbies? We had them as kids, and I can't say my body image is so terrible. True, not great, but don't see how it could have been much better by not having Barbies. And they are durable, versatile, you can buy them endless outfits, there are Kens and Barbie babies and who knows what else to add to the collection. This is something that could last years.
On the other hand, the image of naked Barbies lying around the house really does make me cringe. They will need to be dressed at all times, except while bathing or getting dressed....just like Eden. No lounging in the nude is allowed for Barbie.
Any thoughts?