Post surgery

So - just so all my readers out there know, I am alive, I made it out of the operating theater. I'm back home, and doing relatively well, Thank God. The hours between 10 and 4 seem to be my best, although this morning I was up at 5, ready to go to the airport to see my inlaws land as new olim (immigrants to Israel).
Yesterday, I had more visitors than, I think, ever. Leah came to visit with Kinneret, and then a co-worker brought some gifts from the dept. Now, I'm not a flower person, and my close friends know that, but I do appreciate the thoughts. But I have no clue what to do with flowers, and I placed the entire bouquet down on the table, right next to my open laptop! No, not my open laptop - the departments open laptop!!!! Arugh. Was depressed about it for the rest of the day. I'm going to send it on Sunday with the same co-worker and hopefully it will be fixed by the time I get back. It must be Gods message telling me not to do any work while I am away.
I also hope that my boss is too busy with the departmental merger to have time to tell me off too much. It really does suck though.
My co-worker also brought a box of chocolates, which in my depression, I proceeded to finish off. Then had a slice of pizza for supper, resulting in serious blockage. When really I'm supposed to be not so blocked at this point, since my body is producing 1/3 more bile than it should. But no, I'm pretty stopped up, even now, the next day.
For now, I've put the laptop away (this is Bens, somehow he trusts me to touch it), and am not worrying about it until Sat night, when I have to get it over to my co-workers. And then Sunday morning, when she has to get it to IT. But not now, now I'm not worrying about it.
In the meantime - my inlaws are here! And so is my converter for my coffeemaker, which I think I've already busted :).
They love their apartment, and are getting settled. I'm hoping to go out for dinner because I again don't want to cook (even if it means being uncomfortable for another night and another day....).
Its awfully hard having no responsibilities. Especially when you keep screwing things up. And the thing is, when you have nothing to do, you touch a lot of things you shouldn't.

Surgery today

Surgery today at 6:30. At the hospital by 2-ish. Fasting by 12:30. Slightly nervous, had lots of strange dreams last night.
Neither Ben nor I slept well. I woke up in the middle of the night with a sore throat and worried they would cancel surgery.
Called hospital today to see if Ben can stay with me overnight, and yes he can - but "why do you need your husband?". Grrr. Because he loves me and wants to stay with me in the hospital, even just for one night, and even in an uncomfortable chair or sleeping on the floor.
My mom is with Eden. At first Eden wanted to "come with me" to the hospital. But I think she understands that I'm going to get my tummy fixed, because it didn't feel well. And that she gets to color and sing songs and play and watch movies with Savta. Hope that goes well.
At least some respite from the religion discussion. Apparently I've got a big chip on my shoulder when it comes to religion - well duh! Its been there for at least 15 years, I'm glad someone noticed it!
Faith in God, faith in doctors and modern medicine. Faith in private hospitals, and faith in life. A will to live and persevere.
And looking forward to 2 weeks off from work.

Then - here come the in-laws!

Some ideas

So I've been a bit depressed lately about work. It seems that as soon as I started to enjoy it, and feel appreciated and feel like I may be going somewhere, that I also get in on all the nasty things that go on. It doesn't make me too happy, and Im only just starting to understand. One website put it really well,
"Each corporation is as much a living, breathing, and consuming being as is a human. Just as your cells fight for the survival of the human, corporate politics is not about the individual, it is about the survival of the corporation. By understanding where the line exists that separates your two worlds and adapting to the idea that political motivation is about results, then indeed, your interaction within this strange, new world will be more effective and successful."
People I used to really like and look to as role models - well, lets say I'm still a bit disillusioned. I've gotten a bit more perspective and still look to them as role models, and it is interesting to watch how they handle sticky situations. And amazing to watch real masters at corporate politics - how do you manage in one spot for 10 years!
Another interesting thing about my company is that there are so many people who really are nice. How do they manage it? I'd like to think that as long as I remain true to myself, keep work a priority (which is also a part of being true to myself by the way), and stick to my guns, I'll last.

Doing lots of thinking, not quite formulated at this point.....

The Book Meme

So I saw this meme (what does meme mean?) up for grabs and I took it.

I do actually love reading, so I was surprised when I saw how few of these books I had read. I mean, if this is any measurement, I am seriously not well read. But there is a lot of classics here, as well as modern bestsellers, of which I don't like either. I don't really like things that "most people recommend" - meaning I probably would end up liking them but its hard to pick it up if everyone else is.

I still have not bought crocs and probably will only once they go out of style.

I either get to it early before anyone else does, or have to wait until nobody is doing it anymore.
And I don't like sad books. Hence Dickens, and classic tragedies are out. If I am reading a book, it is for entertainment and relaxation. I don't read to be frightened, angry, or saddened. I read to laugh, enjoy, and fall in love.

The books in bold are books I've read. Red means recommended.

But here goes:

• 1984 This should be mandatory reading for everybody.
• The Aeneid I read this too long ago, and in high school which means that I probably didn't appreciate it.
• The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay Never did get around to finishing it ....
• American Gods
• Anansi Boys
• Angela’s Ashes : A Memoir - eh. Not so my style. Too sad
• Angels & Demons
• Anna Karenina
• Atlas Shrugged Started it, couldn't get beyond the first 10 pages.
• Beloved I think I read this? Looks familiar. Couldn't have appreciated it much, maybe I should pick it up again.
• The Blind Assassin
• Brave New World
• The Brothers Karamazov Again, a classic. Also the Russian authors get too descriptive for me. I need long, but lots of dialogue. If nothing happens on a page, I don't read it, and then it doesn't matter if its long because I skip most of the pages.
• The Canterbury Tales Read in high school, don't remember.
• Catch-22 I did read this, but didn't like it and skimmed most of it.
• The Catcher in the Rye
• A Clockwork Orange
• Cloud Atlas
• Collapse : How Societies Choose to Fail or Succeed
• A Confederacy of Dunces
• The Confusion
• The Corrections
• The Count of Monte Cristo Read in high school and actually did a paper on it. Loved it, although I hated the teacher. Or rather, I was just smarter than her.
• Crime and Punishment Classic. Nuf said.
• Cryptonomicon
• The Curious Incident of the Dog in the Night-time - No, but I would like to, if I could bring myself to read something that everyone is recommending.
• David Copperfield
• Don Quixote
• Dracula
• Dubliners
• DuneEats, Shoots & Leaves
• Foucault’s Pendulum
• The Fountainhead
• Frankenstein
• Freakonomics : A Rogue Economist Explores the Hidden Side of Everything
• The God of Small Things
• The Grapes of Wrath
• Gravity’s Rainbow
• Great Expectations
• Gulliver’s Travels
• Guns, Germs and Steel: The fates of human societies
• A Heartbreaking Work of Staggering Genius
• The Historian: A Novel Loved this one. Given to me by a co-worker, and everyone else in the office scoffed. Wasn't their style - great, its mine, and since nobody else wanted to read it, I felt I could.
• The Hobbit Never got through the first chapter. One of Ben's greatest disappointments. Too descriptive - BORING.
• The Hunchback of Notre Dame
• The Iliad Read in high school, no recollection. Is it good?
• In Cold Blood : A True Account of a Multiple Murder and its Consequences
• The Inferno
• Jane Eyre
• Jonathan Strange & Mr Norrell
• The Kite Runner - Heard this was good, and its sounds like I might like it. Although its a bestseller, I'd read it. Anyone have a copy?
• Les Misérables - eh.
• Life of Pi : A Novel
• Lolita
• Love in the Time of Cholera
• Madame Bovary - good book, terrible characters. Hated all of them.
• Mansfield Park
• Memoirs of a Geisha - ahhh, a wonderful story. Things happen!
• Middlemarch
• Middlesex
• The Mists of Avalon
• Moby Dick
• Mrs. Dalloway
• The Name of the Rose
• Neverwhere
• Northanger Abbey
• The Odyssey
• Oliver Twist Dickens, too sad. I skip to the happy parts.
• On the Road
• The Once and Future King A fun read but skimmed a lot.
• One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest
• One Hundred Years of Solitude
• Oryx and Crake : A Novel
• A People’s History of the United States : 1492-present - This sounds terrific. Who has a copy?
• Persuasion - Another one of those that I can't remember if I read or not. I think I did take it out of the library, but don't think I enjoyed it.
• The Picture of Dorian Gray
• The Poisonwood Bible : A Novel
• A Portrait of the Artist as a Young Man
• Pride and Prejudice
• The Prince Quicksilver
• Reading Lolita in Tehran : A Memoir in Books - Very good.
• The Satanic Verses
• The Scarlet Letter
• Sense and Sensibility
• A Short History of Nearly Everything
• The Silmarillion - Another one of Bens disappointments. If only....
• Slaughterhouse-five
• The Sound and the Fury
• The Tale of Two Cities
• Tess of the D’Urbervilles
• The Three Musketeers
• The Time Traveler’s Wife - read this in a weekend plus a day.
• To the Lighthouse
• Treasure Island
• Ulysses
• The Unbearable Lightness of Being
• Vanity Fair
• War and Peace
• Watership Down I love this book.
• White Teeth
• Wicked : The Life and Times of the Wicked Witch of the West I love this book too. Really I do.
• Wuthering Heights
• Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance : An Inquiry Into Values I really did not love this book at all. Surprised and disappointed.

I would add to this list some of my faves:

• The Clan of the Cave Bear trilogy
• The Assyrian
• The Blood Star
• The Hitchhikers Guide to the Galaxy
• It
• Rose Madder
• Orfe
• Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas
• Books by L.M. Montomery, Cynthia Voigt, and Tabitha King - pretty much their entire collections.

Montgomery, Voigt, and King are usually considered writers of young adult reading. I myself read them in high school, but identified with them so strongly that I still really appreciate them.

I think L.M. Montomery is one of the most entertaining authors Ive ever read. Simple, enjoyable stories and enjoyable reading - and unbelievable funny.
Voigt - the part of me that is still 16 loves Voigts books, especially the kingdom series. Its unbelievable to me that my in laws are friends with the Voigts, and that they were at our wedding.
King - also appeals to Bethami of 16. Angry, righteous, rebellious, and vindicated in the end.
And there you have it.

Experiment with cake. And toy guns.

My experiment with cake works: applesauce instead of oil. I know its been proven before, but not in my kitchen, where things often don't bake they way they usually do.
I took a white cake recipe, substituted the white flour with whole wheat, white sugar with demerara (sp?), and oil with applesauce. It was a hit, and I can even convince myself that it won't destroy by body bit by bit.

Now we can have cake every shabbat.

If only they made munchies without frying them. Corn chips, cheese curls - something with a good crunch and LOTS of salt and MSG. Good for my gallbladder? I don't think so. Not on this side of surgery.

A protest: pre-teens playing with toy guns Friday night at shul is not holy. I saw this last night. And despite understanding that children here will, one day, be called upon to NOT desert our army, I abhor toy guns. Especially ones made to look like M16s. Especially when they are pointed, in play, at children under 5. Not cool and I told the kid off - only to receive a retort, "It doesn't even work." ?!!? Of course it doesn't work! If it did I'd be a hell of a lot more upset! Ah its so hard not to judge.

Also, a statement: creepy people shall not hold my child, or any future children I may have, unless there is no other option at the time.

Shavua Tov!

Coffee pot and a little TMI

I am looking for a coffee pot. I want a small electric appliance that can take up space on my counter, and provide me nice, yummy coffee when I wake up in the morning. I want it to do this on its own - that is, after I program it the night before.

No coffee pot I've seen in this country is programmable. Unless its an espresso maker, or a cappachino maker, which is not what I want. I just want to be able to get dressed in my warm bedroom before venturing out into the freezing kitchen to first put the water on for coffee. I want to come out, pour my coffee, and leave for work.

For all those unknown readers - are you there? Have you seen a coffee pot in Israel that is programmable? I've even tried the 220 stores in the states, since my in laws are making aliyah anyway in a month, and no luck.

I'm going to look again this Friday, after I get my blood work done, possibly a chest xray and EKG, and buy Eden her very own umbrella.

And for the TMI. This is something I've been dying to share but have not really found the appropriate time to. That's probably because there is no appropriate time.

The cutest thing that Eden has said recently was when she was sitting on the toilet, pooping. Often I sit there with her, since I really don't trust her to wipe herself. And as she was pushing she said (in Hebrew), "Hene! Hene! Hene ha-poop sheli!" ("Here it comes, here it comes! Here comes my poop!") She was so excited.

Right, so that's not really the type of thing I include in my Eden updates to my grandparents.

This morning, when she woke up she took a big stretch. And she said, "I'm stretching! Arm is stretching! Foot is stretching! Other foot is stretching! Both feet stretching!"

She is just so adorable.

Surgery Date

So I've got a date for surgery - Dec 24th. My mom will be in from the 9th to the 30th, my in-laws making aliyah on the 27th. Lots to do (chest x-ray, ekg, bloodwork) lots to think about (putting my "affairs in order" to give me peace of mind in case something Gd forbid happens to me), other things lots to do - getting the door fixed before my mom comes, finding appliances and signing on an apt for my inlaws.
Work?
Spending time with Eden so that I don't feel guilty for having surgery and she not knowing whats going on.

Woes of work

The comparisons between work and other, less professional, aspects of life is sometimes daunting. Everyone knows that work is work - and its nothing personal of course. For example, I worked on a complete documentation set, including about 10 manuals (including generic ones that I did not need to update, but still), and even published it. Only to find out that the release had been canceled.
My boss thought that I'd be really hurt by this. I'm not - its only documentation. I got paid for my time, what do I care whether they used it or not? OK, there is also unpaid overtime to worry about, unnecessary stress, etc, etc, but that's all part of the game, and its past. She was more upset that I was it seems.
Other times, I am not so unaffected by work.
Relationships at work are like relationships anywhere else - there is competition, jealousy, the ebb and wane of friendships, and the sighs when your heart says to you, "That's just the way it is now. Get used to it." Recently we had a really big organization, and I've got a new boss, new team, and new product. Someone else is working on the products I worked on before, and my old boss is now working closely with someone else. And although there is nothing unsatisfactory about the new situation, I miss my old team. We worked closely together and spoke all the time - about work, but also about lots of other things, and we were good friends. Now if I see them in the hallway for long enough to say, "Hi, how are you", its a lot. Everybody is just as busy as they've always been, and its always hard to take the time and keep up a friendship. It feels a little bit like junior high, where last year I was in one class with one group of friends, and this year we've all been promoted to different levels of honors classes. Its hard to see your former friends being all chummy with new people, in the ways that they were once with you. Its hard to see someone else doing the things that I used to do, as I'm sure its hard for others to see me taking their place. But that's just it, that's the way it is, and we all try to convince ourselves that its for the best - professionally. But personally? I miss my friends, because even though its just documentation, work is so much more than just that.

Jewish smarts

Whatyall think of this?
http://www.slate.com/id/2177228/nav/tap3/

I see so much discussion out on the regular, secular bandwidth that I read about Jewish smarts. A lot of it is because may journalists and editors are Jewish, and they are interested in themselves. But still, it makes me feel funny. Too many people are thinking too hard about Jews for my comfort level it seems.

I still have Holocaust dreams. I expect many people do, especially Jews, when they are young and first find out about the terrible things that happened to the Jewish people in Europe halfway through the 20th century. I used to dream that it was happening again. Every once in a while I still have a dream like that, and I'm sure that somewhere deep in my subconscious, I fully believe that "Never Again" is only a hope and a prayer. So when people start talking about things like Jewish smarts, it makes me feel uncomfortable.

I think that I partly moved to Israel for this reason. I don't want to live anywhere but our own country, and can trust no one by my own Jewish brothers to defend me and my family. On the other hand, one of the first things we did when Eden was born was go and get her US passport. And I hold on to our US passports tight. Because I know that if Israel was ever under nuclear attack, I do not know what I would do and if I would have the courage to stay. I may indeed feel the need to take a trip back to the states, for a little while.

A while ago, I had a discussion with friends about tattoos. Never mind the halachic aspects, I don't like the idea of anything permanent on my body that God did not put there. (OK, OK I put the cake and cookies on my hips, but hopefully that's not permanent.) The idea of a Jewish looking tattoo came up - I mean what could be wrong with that? What a great idea, identify yourself permanently with your the Jewish people.

I did not like the idea. It made me so nervous - what if you got trapped behind enemy borders? What if you had to pass as Aryan? Or Arab? Or anything, anything but Jewish. But you had this great Jewish star on your shoulder, or your elbow, or hip, or of all things on your chest. In yellow. How many gays get a pink triangle tattoo?

This coming from me, who dreamed about living out on a hilltop in a caravan, with a strong and swarthy Jewish husband with a gun sitting outside my door. Or it would be both of us sitting outside that door with guns, protecting our babies inside. Whose first glimpse of her husband was a picture of him in uniform, holding his M16. It was love at first sight.

I'd like to think that if push came to shove, I'd be stronger than this. But really, I don't like to think about it at all. Which is why Jewish star tattoos and articles about Jewish smarts give me the heebeejeebees. Just being honest here.

3 things to be happy about

On Friday, I went into shabbat happy about 3 things. I mean, really happy about these 3 things. And when I'm actually happy about 3 whole things, I don't like to forget it, so here they are:
1) We decided that if it fits on my in-laws lift, we are taking the breakfront. And we'll put it in the living room, table linens and all. I just plain love it. Wouldn't you?
2) We decided to try to stop buying wipes. Seeing as Eden does not often need them, we are just keeping some in reserve and stopping to use them for everything, from washing the table, to the floor, to Eden's face, to our hands. But paper towels really don't do the trick. But super paper towels do! I found these great paper towels that really last. Sure they are expensive, but when I used ONE sheet to clean every surface in the kitchen, dining room, and bathrooms, I'd say its worth it. And I only threw it out after that because I didn't want to clean anything else, and I really couldn't see rinsing it out to use later. Honestly though it felt like a waste.
3) I bought a clothes hanger! Our laundry room is long an narrow, so there really isn't room for a large laundry hanger like I'd like. Also its a pain to fold up and store afterwards. And we don't hang all that many things, just some delicates and things that take too long in the dryer. So we found a clothes hanger that screws into the wall, and then folds out, and in. Easiest thing in the world, and no more hanging things over the shower. Very exciting for me.

And then we joined our friends Yaakov and Leah and Kinneret and Poofy for dessert. A great way to end a great Friday.

Now if I can just keep us from getting sick . . . .

Form before function

We bought our apartment 4 months ago. Its much larger than any we've had before, and we are here to stay. There are plenty of empty spaces, and we have a lot of ideas of what to fill it with.

One thing we've been looking for is a cabinet for our dining room, for silver (behind glass doors), possibly our china, and cabinets underneath for table linens. We aren't looking cheap, but not really expensive either. Lumber here costs though, so its not easy to find the perfect piece.

And then comes the breakfront pictured. It belongs to my grandmother, who lives in Amherst, Mass. We could possibly bring it here on my in-laws lift (haven't spoken to them about it yet), but the question is if we want it - my grandmother would be happy to give it to us, as she is looking to pare down her own home.

But its too big for our dining room. Its 6 ft long, and our dining room doesn't have a lot of wall space - one wall is next to the circular staircase, and we already have a mirror and table there. Another wall is the sliding doors to the porch. Another wall has a window to the kitchen, and the last wall is short - it leads to the hallway that leads to the bedrooms.

So it would have to go in the living room. Which is OK for the silver, possibly china... but table linens? Even behind solid doors? How would we ever fill it?

But we really love it. You see the picture. It also has a bit of a story to it. When my grandmother became a professor instead of teaching high schools, my mothers family moved. My grandfather chose to save money and moved the entire house himself, on a flatbed truck. The breakfront that they had bought when they got married fell off the truck, and my grandmother was heartbroken. Her aunt, my Aunt Mary, who I only knew as an eccentric old women who talked A LOT, put her foot down one day soon after the move and said, "Elsie, we are going out to buy a new breakfront." And this is that breakfront. So it has fond memories for me, about my grandmother, my grandfather (ob"m) and my great-great-aunt (ob"m). And I love heirlooms. Living so far from family, its important to me to have pieces of my family close by.

So tell me what you think - we usually think that form must follow function. In this case, I think function must fall before form.

Evil Geniuses at Work

We have a friend named Ari O. He now lives with his wife Yael in NYC, but once upon a time, he lived in Keren HaYesod 7 in Ramat Ilan. There he worked on perfecting songs for Moed Bet, using the most up to date technology. He was also a graphic desginer.
He also had four computer screens. One entire wall of his bedroom (ok its was a small room) was screens. I was wowed.
At the time, we had one desktop computer, and my laptop. Never thought about hooking the two up, my laptop was a Mac. But then, Ben bought a laptop and traded in his desktop. And he thought - why give away the other screen too? Its a great screen. And walla, since then we've always used two screens.
Since then we've upgraded to a nice small flatscreen. I've caught it too at work. I am a secret evil genius, and my cubicle is my lair. We need lairs in open-space-ville.
There are some funny stories about this:
One early morning, my boss very purposefully came over to my desk and said, "OK Batami, I really need to know. Do you or don't you have two computers? Because we only have a limited amount of computers and you can't have two."
Or about the time Ben was negotiating his contract with his boss, while he was still sub-contracting, and his boss said, "Ben, all the salary issues, we will work it out. But I'm very sorry to say, I can only give you two screens." What a riot because Ben only uses one company screen! The other is his own laptop.
People who are otherwise technologically intelligent come by our desks and say "Huh? How the heck do you do that?" And forget it if they try to work at one of our desks, they can never figure out where the mouse went.

Its great being a genius :)

Some about the guilt. . . and then that's it

Ok so here goes my full unshackling of the guilt. And hopefully after this, I'll be able to write about normal life and leave the rest for the unconscious.
I wonder sometimes if I would feel as much guilt as I do if I didn't work, or work so much. I mean where does it come from? Such painful, physically debilitating guilt does not come from something real, unless you've murdered someone or worse, which I have not done.
So does it come from being a working mom? Perhaps from being a Jewish mom? A Jewish working mom? Hoo boy that's a doozy. Why not just a mom, or just working?
I feel it all around me, every where I turn. Guilt for not being there enough, guilt for smothering her when I am. Guilt for being too tired to spend time with DH, guilt for running him down so he's too tired too. Guilt for not fitting into the clothes DH so generously bought me over the summer, guilt for not WANTING to cut down on the cake.
How about guilt for leaving a meeting early? How about this - leaving a training session early on a FRIDAY, when my boss only (very sheepishly I might add, I have a great boss) asked me to come in at 2:PM the day before? Why the hell do I feel guilty for that? And then of course feeling guilty that DH did so much for Shabbat and I did barely anything. Doubly guilty now because he's getting sick.
It's built into my bones, DH says. My mom is just as guilty, although who knows where she got it from - HER mom does not seem to know what guilt is. Forward looking always. (I can never be like them, the Caterpillar thought, looking at the beautiful butterflies.)
I wonder how my guilt will affect my kids, especially my daughters. Maybe they will make a point to never feel guilty. DH doesn't really, he lets it pass. I try not to let it affect my marriage, although sometimes it does. Sometimes I try to make DH feel guilty for something, but I forget that it just doesn't work - guilt does not affect him the way it affects me.
He says - accept it! It's there, let it be! So you're guilty of multi-tasking. Not devoting yourself to any one thing enough. Not so bad, at least I'm doing it all. Don't worry about it, and of course do not feel guilty about feeling guilty. Somewhere it has to stop. So here goes. Embracing the guilt.
Lets count how many posts I can write without mentioning the word guilt.

The house sold!

Dh's parents sold their house!!! Yay! They will be here in Israel mid December. Probably renting in Jlem until the summer, which is when the better home market is in Modiin. And then - no more racing home to be later for ETG. We have a Grandma in the house!

Forever Anti Establishment

Last night I blew up at ETG's day care director. I was 15 minutes late, and I suppose they are pretty sick of me being late. But it was the end of the day, I had sat for over an hr in traffic, she was late and annoyed and I was furious at her judging me. So I was really mad. I felt really indignant - sometimes I have to stay at work later than expected, why shouldnt day care teachers? I can't stay later, but my office certainly has other people there that are late - why dont they have teachers there to cover a late shift?
There are so many feelings wrapped around this for me. I think I will probably forever hate my kids day care teachers. It doesnt matter how nice they are, how good they are to ETG, how much she thrives there (all 3 are true), I will always hate them for who they are, the other women in my kids life. I will always feel like they judge me. I will always feel like they are better moms to my kid than me.
Later, after a few good angry cries, I felt embarrassed. Embarrased, which caused anger. But so embarrassed, I didnt want to have to face them today. I wanted DH to call them and tell them how wrong they were. Read them the riot act. Fight for me!
I tried posting on a msg board that I sometimes visit, and they all ganged up on me. Im scared to go back there tonight and see how many more thought I was wrong for leaving her in a day care an hr from work, for coming late, for thinking that they should wait for me (I pay the late fees, without complaint!). That certainly made me feel better :~. I certainly wasnt looking for more people to tell me how wrong I was. Why couldnt they understand that I just wanted support?
Today I woke up and told DH not to call. Yes she pissed me off. Yes I was annoyed. But whatever solutions we need to find for getting there earlier (leaving work early, really) its between us. And I should just get over it.
It reminded me of all the other institutions where I just could not get along with the administration. I've really never liked them. Its odd, school administrators - day cares no different then high schools or colleges. We don't mix.
But today, I got over it. And thats something. Whoo hoo!