A quick flashback to the Goo Goo Dolls, a fav band of mine in high school (and still! I love it when I find them on the radio!)
If you know the song, you'll know what it has to do with this post.
Sometimes things come around in my head again and again. I honestly don't remember if I've actually posted about this before, or if I'm doing so now for the first time. I also am too lazy to go look.
I think every generation of parents thinks that their kids grow up too fast. I think parents have been thinking that their kids have grown up too fast for millennium. That this decade's technology will be the ruin of the next generation. This is nothing new, and every parent of a teenager that I know thinks this way.
Granted, I am not a mother of a teenager. And maybe I'm too young and my own teenage memories are still fresh in my mind. But I totally disagree. I think kids don't grow up fast enough.
Yes, they are exposed to more and more information at a younger age, but that doesn't mean growing up (and I don't think its going to ruin them). The smart ones will adjust. The stupid ones will do what stupid ones have always done - continue being stupid despite their parents best efforts). Kids take too long to become independent and responsible. They grow up not knowing how to make concrete decisions, and are still afraid of commitment well into their 30's, leaving their best years for reproduction behind. They don't use their minds, are too lazy to solve life's puzzles, and aren't interested in doing so. They aren't respectful, nor are they respectable. I don't really care how many piercings kids have, and it doesn't matter to me what they look like. I want them to be decent people, able to support themselves, take an interest in supporting the next generation. Be interested in growth, life. Flourish.
I am of course generalizing. I'm talking about the kids who I steer Eden away from in the park. The kid who was sitting on the hood of my car one day smoking when I came out of the store.
Honestly, I think these kids are bored. They are bored with school, and bored with their parents and bored with their life. They are waiting to grow up and be a person, but will not know what to do when they get there, nor will they recognize that they've gotten there. Perhaps they may never get there. You have to GO somewhere to get there, if you sit on the corner smoking all afternoon after school, you don't look like you are going much of anywhere.
I'm aware that I'm ranting a bit. I have no hard and fast proofs or examples. Just a general feeling and a slight annoyance at people who want to keep their kids young. I personally, cannot wait for Eden to grow up. She's so interesting, and only four! What a fascinating person she's going to be at 14 and 24! I love that she is independent, and I hope she continues to be so. I love that she knows her own mind, and that you can argue a point logically with her. I love that she can disagree and still understand that she doesn't always get her way. And accept it. That's what grownups do, actually. Growing up too fast doesn't mean too much internet, it would mean too much disappointment. And I think that most kids who seem to be growing up too fast are only disappointed that they have to wait so long.
I Lost My Swim Meet
5 months ago
3 comments:
I found what you said to be interesting. I think that what you are saying is not only true, but significant. It happens all too often that children are given the trappings of adulthood-- clothing, cell phones, car keys, and credit cards- without ever having achieved the maturity of an adult-- the very things you referred to: responsibility, the ability to consider options and make healthy decisions, the sense of commitment to moral and ethical codes, etc. And so you are right-- parents and schools and society in general are allowing children to mistake the trappings of adulthood for the real achievement of maturity.
Great post! All too often I think we look at children and think that they should be acting like adults. I see it with my own kids and the 5th graders I teach. And when they act like a kid, we get flustered. We forget they are kids and that they have kid maturity with adult stuff. This week we had the first round of state testing and we had to ask the kids to turn off their cell phones and turn them in for the test. This year I had only 3 kids turn in phones. Last year I had about 1/3 of the class getting them out. It is really funny (not really) when a second grader comes in with a $100 bill and trades it for a pencil. His reply when asked why he did it was: "But it was a really big pencil!" We tried not to laugh, but in his mind, since it was a really big souvenier pencil, it was worth it, and had nothing to do with the fact that he took the money from his parents.
So its an interesting question. I don't really mind the idea of children growing up quicker - giving them cell phones, credit cards, etc - as long as they have the maturity to deal with it.
It seems to me that they will have these trappings of adulthood anyway. Shouldn't we catch up on their emotional maturity as well? Isn't it a better idea than keeping their maturity levels as they are and taking away the phones and credit cards. I don't really think thats going to happen.
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