I am NOT superstitious

Really, I'm not. I don't believe in the evil eye, bad luck - or good luck for that matter. I don't believe in red strings, blue glass eye beads, or any of the other Jewish-ish ideas that have developed. I think they're pagan.

I do believe in psychology, and the power of convincing yourself of something. Self-fulfilling prophecies, that sort of thing. Be optimistic, I say! At least you'll worry less.

But I think that even I draw the line at signing my unborn baby up for childcare for after I go back to work. Maybe we'll win the lottery and I won't go back to work (I know ... you can't win if you don't play...). But also, maybe, Gd forbid, the baby will need me home and I won't go back to work. Or .. something else. And I'm not superstitious, but it just doesn't seem right. Not fair that I should have to think about this.

I don't mind buying things for the baby. (Ben - we need to build that closet!) The room will be ready well before I go to the hospital, crib built and all. But childcare? I really don't want to think about it.

But, see I'm just nervous that we'll miss our chance. We live in a city that is a baby-making machine, and supposedly its not easy to find a good spot. And we have some limitations - namely that it needs to be within walking distance, preferably on the same street as Eden's gan. We're a one car family (by choice? I think?) and Ben taking the kids in the morning needs to not turn into an hour long walk around the neighborhood. And also, really it's got to be safe. Ie, no dangling curtain cords. No legos on the floor where she might eat them. Decent food... no chocolate for children under 1? Or gummy bears before she has any teeth? Ideally, some pureed vegies with breast milk or formula, maybe some rice cereal. Ok you get the point.

My friend sends her daughter to a place across the street from Eden's gan. She takes 4 babies only. And is normally priced. And is safe, warm and loving. Sounds good. She also has only one spot left....

Do I take it?! Do I actually sign my unborn baby up for a childcare starting December? Really not sure. I think I'll call her, but I don't like it. It's a bit icky.

Other friends (including Ben) say not to worry and we'll find something. Just walk up and down the street and we'll find someone. Or we'll just pay through the nose for a private nanny and spend the NEXT year dealing with all the baby's colds and separation anxiety. Not so much fun either.

Yech......I'd rather just sit here and feel the baby kick me more.