Babble

I found a new site to waste time on. No really, something finally to replace Slate, which was getting boring, not enough new content, sensationalist, and sometimes a little inappropriate to read at work. And its embarrassing how much time I spend on facebook.
And so I found Babble.com, a mommy site that says me all over it. Nobody here hawking unrealistic opinions about how much money you've got to have saved before thinking about trying to get pregnant (Really, I read one message board post about how you've got to have at least 200K+ in the bank, or you are setting yourselves up for poverty and doing your future children a serious wrong. Right, so Eden would not have been born, and I would not be pregnant now.) Also no one here trying to explain why I've got to eat X and not Y, or that giving my kid too many sweets or not enough extracurricular is going to end up with her in expensive therapy.
Currently, I've got 8 tabs open that I want to read. Articles that I'm actually really interested in, instead of feigning interest in someone's weird problems on Dear Prudence. Which may be somewhat interesting for a moment, but not really informative.

Some of their interesting features are some great top 5's, like top 5 strollers -( Sarah, you've got competition! You should join them I think), top 5 play kitchens, top 5 thermometers. Did you know they sell 3 packs of forehead therms in the states for like $5? Thats what I want, we are always losing ours.

Also a column called WTF. I think that this is really progressive. I mean, who really heard of a serious magazine, even online, with a cussword in the title? Even in acronym....but its got some weird stuff. Like a japanese doll that comes with her own nursing vest. So that the girl who plays with her can feed her too, just like mommy. Sucking noises and everything. WEIRD!! On the side they refer to a kid's moby wrap, which i think is a lot more practical.

Nice column on equal parenting. For parents who split breadwinning and childraising and home management down the middle. I like to think we do this quite well, and it works for us, and I'm really proud of it. There are some things that are certainly my job and some things that are certainly his, but we are both prepared to switch when push comes to shove. And we know how. I mean, except for budgeting and money management...you kind of need to know how to add and subtract really well to keep track of that. Yeah, that's not me.

Some good columns recently on how to beat the heat in the city with a toddler. What is good spacing between kids. That formula is not poison. And a great interview with Penelope Leach, who says unequivocally that full time mommying is not best for everyone.

Anyhoo. Head on over, or watch my facebook links. I'll be sharing links regularly I think - I like pretty much everything I read on babble.

Independence, Here I Come

Today was a fast day. Admittedly, I didn't fast, but I did have a tiring day at work, and Ben was of course fasting. So when Eden and I came home, we set her up with a movie pretty quickly, and chilled on the couch together. Eden came down when her movie was done, and we asked her to make sure to turn the A/C off before she came downstairs. It's really just a push of a button, its the largest button on the remote, and she likes to push those buttons anyway.

When we went back upstairs after she'd gone to bed, we realized that she'd not only turned off the A/C correctly but also:
1) Turned the screen off
2) Took the DVD out of the player
3) Put the DVD back in it's case
4) Put the DVD case back on the shelf.

All of her own volition! Wow! A kid I don't have to clean up after anymore!

A couple other milestones: Eden can now reach the light switch, and the hooks for our bags and coats.

This means a few things - that we need REALLY need to teach her not to turn the lights on and off on Shabbat, and that, at least when it's not Shabbat, to always turn the light off when she leaves a room. Also, she now makes a habit of hanging up her backpack when she comes home instead of leaving it on the floor. Pretty, pretty cool.

On the flip side, she knows where the permanent marker is that we use to write her name on her water bottles. She also knows how to write her own name, and does so - on all the water bottles she takes to gan (we switch them weekly). So we usually trust her with the marker, and think nothing of leaving it accessible. Except that it's red, and today she thought it would make an excellent color for lipstick. Which it does, and she applies it well for a four-year old. But its permanent marker. Luckily, we were able to scrub it off, or she'd have been particularly pretty this Shabbat, in her own way.

Off topic - on the baby front, there is something always going on in my belly. Or at least it seems that way. Either its Braxton-Hicks of the type that are enough to wind me, or I sit and rest and drink water to calm the Braxtons and the baby wakes up and wants to play. Its very tiring. Enough to almost make me want to fast Tish'a B'Av and go into labor early. A co-worker pointed out that Ben might not want to drive me to the hospital and be a supportive labor coach while on the worst fast of the year. I suppose I'll have to agree.

Guilt, School Age Version

Tomorrow is Eden's last day of gan this year. Wednesday she has one day of vacation (wow!) and then Thursday starts daycamp.

She came home today with 2 big packets of "avodot" - her year's work. Two big packets of fours drawn over and over, and samech's and ayin's. Lines drawn from the picture of two girls to the number 2. Etc.

Eden worked hard on these. She's proud of them - as am I! I can't believe my girl knows how to write a 2 and 5 perfectly. But do I really need to keep them? How much of this stuff can I keep? I throw out most of her drawings week to week...even the good stuff she does at home. She can go through an entire notebook in a couple of sittings. Really, I can't keep all of it. I know that she gets disappointed when I throw them out, so I try to do it when she's not looking. Sometimes I make her help me clean up the mess (especially when she's been doing cut art), and it feels a little sadistic. Making an artist throw away her afternoon's work. But really, its trash.

Two whole notebooks of work though. Can I really throw it out? How can I keep it? How can I set that sort of precedent? Will she be forever angry at me for not appreciating her efforts? What's the "done" thing here?

Spooksville

Eden knew I was pregnant before I did (granted, she also had thought I was having a baby for the entire year beforehand...this had nothing to do with the size of my tummy).
She also claims to "know" that it's a girl.
As in:
Me: "You know, even though the doctor says it's a girl, the only one who really knows is God.
Eden: "And me. It's a girl."

But tonight took the cake. See we've already chosen a name for the baby if it's a girl, and, well, Eden didn't guess it, but she came pretty close.

Let's say we've chosen the name Dina (we didn't). Eden has no friends named Dina. I don't know if she's ever heard the name before.

And she was playing with the phone, and brought it to Ben, and said, "Say hello to Dina!" We were floored. Why would she choose that name? Was it in a story they told today at gan? Is that a coincidence? Or does she really have some sort of a sense? She proceeded to tell us to talk to Dina's mommy and daddy...and that Dina had a little girl. Ooookay.

They say children under six have ruach hakodesh.....spooky.

I expected the worst and came out pleasantly suprised

This evening could have been a disaster. We almost didn't go, and I was bracing myself for the worst, most tiring, frustrating, and physically uncomfortable night ever.
We went to buy a closet.
We've been wanting to put a closet in the future baby's room for some time now. Our experience with buying furniture in Israel has included Shuk Hapishpushim, Ikea, Ramat Gan furniture area, internet shopping, Beitili, the Modiin list, and an adorable little mom-and-pop store where we bought Eden's bed a few years ago. Most of it has been: hot, exsausting, expensive and/or low quality, and we didn't want to do any of that again.
I expected our trip to the Rishon Letzion "Israel Furniture Center" (Mercaz Rihutim HaYisraeli) to be much the same. Especially when we were taking Eden (in the car, which she doesn't especially like), after gan, at exactly dinner, bath, and bed time. I was already hot, swollen and uncomfortable, I didn't expect it to get much better.
But what a suprise. I didn't know this place existed, and no more are we going anywhere else for any other piece of furniture. It's a huge indoor souk of furniture - couches, tables, chairs, lounges, closets, bedroom sets, you name it. It's spread out over this huge area, each store owner having a nebulous corner to call his own, or sprawling all of his goods over a whole section. You could get lost. There is no map, no organization. The bathroom stall had neither toilet paper nor a working lock, and was up 2 flights of steep steps. It was not air conditioned. In short, it could have been horrible.
But it wasn't - it was one of the most interesting and enjoyable experiances I remember having in Israel.
We wandered around for a short while before what we wanted caught our eye. We had no recommendations to go on, but decided to ask about it anyway. The guy's name is Tony (yes he's Israeli!) and was friendly, patient, and helpful. It wasn't crowded and we were his only customer at the time, and he was able to give us his undivided attention.
I let Eden roam, check out the different couches and beds, while we decided on what we wanted. There wern't that many people in the area at all, and the neighboring shop owner came to give us advise and explain about the different wood types, and what was better (they don't compete - the other guy sells living room furniture only). Of course, we got to talking, playing some Jewish geography. He lived in Monsey for years. His 20 year old son, Danny, lives in Livingston, NJ with his mom, but is here visiting for the summer, and was there also. Eden got a bit bored with the couches, so Danny sat down with her and taught her to play chess. I haven't heard such a thick NJ accent in years. You'd almost think it was fake. Eden was delighted to make a friend and I think she knows that he let her win.
Maybe the two shop owners - Tony and the guy next door - make it a habit of recommending eachother. He made it a point to tell me that Tony did quality work, and that we were getting something well worth our money. And that he wasn't going to overcharge us - he would make the shekels stretch. I told him what a good kid Danny seemed to be, how much he clearly loved kids.
So we will see. Our closet arrives within 14 days. Its got tall hanging on the left, with 2 shelves above, and 4 drawers and shelves on the right. Tony said that if we ever wanted to add onto it in the future, it would not be a problem to add on from the same style, so I felt confident about buying only what we need now, and not worrying about later.
Maybe I'm wrong - I've been a bad judge of character before - but it seems to me that these people are the real thing. It doesn't seem that Tony's out to cheat us (we did no haggling), it does seem that he wants to be able to satisfy his customers. Until we actually have it built, I won't really recommend him, but I will say that he gave a mighty good impression. And I'm quite the cynic, not easy to impress, and salespeople usually have an especially difficult time.
On the way home, we kept the windows open and Eden loved that we went fast on the highway. The entire evening could have been much much much worse. We were out for almost 3 hours. But it really wasn't; it was enjoyable and we'll also have a new closet in about 2 weeks!

Hooray! I can start nesting!

On the search again

So I admit, I'm fairly easily persuaded. I sit on the fence on enough important issues, that you can debate me either way with most things, and, barring rape, theft, and murder, I may agree that you have a point. I may not agree with your point, may have different moral points of view, but I will accept that its a valid and legitimate argument.

So this afternoon when my friends sitting at the park with me said that it was a terrible idea to do a couple things I was sure that I'd do, it was pretty easy for me to agree with them. I mean 4 out of 4 is not nothing.

No great moral quandaries here - really its just money. But in a country where not getting cheated is a national sport, it really is a moral obligation to be careful. And we don't have all the money in the world to just throw at people who ask for it.

So. I'm on the lookout again for another midwife. And another day care. Apparently it really is ridiculous for anyone to ask for more than a deposit on a child at a daycare, maximum a month's pay. Also it's unheard of to charge for an initial consultation with a midwife, AND ask that you come to her.

So here's my strategy, and it involves lots of phone calls and effort. #1 - posted a message on the local email list. Can't hurt. #2 - calling Dyada tomorrow, a nationwide organization that supports pregnant woman, childbirth, and babyhood. They have birthing courses, perhaps they also have a listing of area midwives. #3 - calling the very few midwives listed on www.leida.co.il - actually 2 I've already called. One of them never calls back (not a promising trait in a midwife) and the other doesn't do hospital births, but recommended me to her friend who charges NIS 300 just to meet her. I suppose I could do better.

After that... I don't know. About the childcare..... I don't know. First thing I suppose is sort out more of a plan and attack this in a sensible, efficient way. Give it effort, it's worth it. It's just very aggravating to have to make an effort. Especially when you weigh lots more than you did last summer, and it is very very very hot.

Also on my list for tomorrow is making a dentist appointment for Eden. Whatever else comes, she will get her teeth cleaned before this baby is born.

Follow up

So I went and interviewed my friends caretaker. And I really liked her! She is a warm, loving, South American grandmother. I'll probably have some ifs, but I would anywhere, and in terms of quality of care, quantity of attention and love, and location location location, we really couldn't do better.
She isn't even that expensive, except that, she is asking us to pay full price starting in December, and 1/3 of the price for Sept, Oct, and Nov, to reserve the place. I understand her point of view, this is after all her income, and she can't afford to find out in December that I don't think I'll need her until February, or something like that. Nor can she afford to lose an entire quarter's income. But still, oh boy, what if I don't decide to go back until March? It's a gamble I suppose.

We could look into other options. But it would probably mean a longer walk and less quality of care, or paying much much much more and getting a private nanny, which isn't really my style either. That really does feel too bourgeoisie. So I think we may go with this woman - nothing is perfect after all. Got to get a move on though about it.

Meanwhile, I STILL have not met with my midwife. We've spoken on the phone a bunch of times. She always says she'll call me back, but rarely does. I must say, I hope she'll be more available at week 37 than she is at week 27. If we ever do meet (before I go into labor that is), I'll definitely raise it as a real issue. Thinking about trying to look around for others, but really not interested in expending the effort again, I just want to meet with this one.

And in 2 weeks, I have an ultrasound to measure the baby! Whoo hoo! Everyone keeps mentioning how huge I am. Thanks, its really appreciated. Funny, I had a feeling that I was carrying 2/3 of my weight in the space between the ribs and my thighs, and another 1/4 in my ankles, but good to get a second opinion to verify it. Next time, how bout trying something like, wow, you look fantastic! Really, you are just blossoming, you look so beautiful. And that color really brings out your eyes. So far, only one friend other than Ben has said anything remotely like that. Honestly, it was refreshing. Most others say things like, wow, you are big for 26 weeks! Will you make it? You look very tired. Are you drinking enough? You'd better take it easy.

I had a dream the other night that we had the ultrasound, the baby was just massive, and also breech, and the dr said, oh boy this is going to be a tough delivery. It also being a VBAC, he offered to schedule a C-section and I scooped it up! We scheduled the birth for 2 weeks before my due date, right smack in the middle of Eden's August vacation, and I didn't have to worry about what I was going to do with her for the last week in August either. No, this was not a nightmare, I think it was almost a daydream.

I am NOT superstitious

Really, I'm not. I don't believe in the evil eye, bad luck - or good luck for that matter. I don't believe in red strings, blue glass eye beads, or any of the other Jewish-ish ideas that have developed. I think they're pagan.

I do believe in psychology, and the power of convincing yourself of something. Self-fulfilling prophecies, that sort of thing. Be optimistic, I say! At least you'll worry less.

But I think that even I draw the line at signing my unborn baby up for childcare for after I go back to work. Maybe we'll win the lottery and I won't go back to work (I know ... you can't win if you don't play...). But also, maybe, Gd forbid, the baby will need me home and I won't go back to work. Or .. something else. And I'm not superstitious, but it just doesn't seem right. Not fair that I should have to think about this.

I don't mind buying things for the baby. (Ben - we need to build that closet!) The room will be ready well before I go to the hospital, crib built and all. But childcare? I really don't want to think about it.

But, see I'm just nervous that we'll miss our chance. We live in a city that is a baby-making machine, and supposedly its not easy to find a good spot. And we have some limitations - namely that it needs to be within walking distance, preferably on the same street as Eden's gan. We're a one car family (by choice? I think?) and Ben taking the kids in the morning needs to not turn into an hour long walk around the neighborhood. And also, really it's got to be safe. Ie, no dangling curtain cords. No legos on the floor where she might eat them. Decent food... no chocolate for children under 1? Or gummy bears before she has any teeth? Ideally, some pureed vegies with breast milk or formula, maybe some rice cereal. Ok you get the point.

My friend sends her daughter to a place across the street from Eden's gan. She takes 4 babies only. And is normally priced. And is safe, warm and loving. Sounds good. She also has only one spot left....

Do I take it?! Do I actually sign my unborn baby up for a childcare starting December? Really not sure. I think I'll call her, but I don't like it. It's a bit icky.

Other friends (including Ben) say not to worry and we'll find something. Just walk up and down the street and we'll find someone. Or we'll just pay through the nose for a private nanny and spend the NEXT year dealing with all the baby's colds and separation anxiety. Not so much fun either.

Yech......I'd rather just sit here and feel the baby kick me more.

I love this shirt!

A cousin of ours took this picture of one of his students. I love it!


Especially speaks to me, since I'm so much younger than most of my co-workers (26 to their mid 30's-50's!). I often get self conscious about it. I'm willing to admit that I'm ageist, but hope that I won't be when kids half my age start to move quickly through the corporate ladder.

My diamond fell out

No, not the one on my finger. That one is secured with six gold prongs, so nervous was I when we got engaged. Rather, the one I had in my nose has gone missing.

When I got my nose pierced again last year, I didn't want any of the dinky nezemim (nose rings in hebrew) that they sell here on every street corner. I also didn't want the big clunky and annoyingly ugly ones that they sell at most piercing stores here. I wanted something tasteful and solid, and also not cheap. If I'm going to wear jewelry, it may as well be good.

So after doing some research, we ordered a few online from the US, including one with a cubic zirconia that was not like $3. It wasn't that expensive either, I mean it's teeny. But it had a gold setting, matches with everything, and was really comfortable. And I really really loved it.

And now one year later, I came home from work to find that the stone fell out. It could be anywhere, and its just not worth looking for it. I've looked in the stores around here, and there is nothing but the little dinky ones that keep falling out. Granted, I haven't yet been to the piercings stores in Tel Aviv or Jlem, so I may still find one I like there. But I think that its a little silly that they aren't sold or made as quality jewelry. I'm thinking about commisioning one. How 6th century would that be?

It seems to me that nose rings just haven't entered the realm of classic jewelry. The kind you buy at the nice regular jewelry shops. I wouldn't mind paying for a good piece, and it's annoying that I can't. Especially in this country where every fourth woman and her mother (ok that's not scientific...but there are a LOT) has her nose pierced. I feel like I run into just as many people - women and men! - with facial piercings as I do pregnant women. That ought to be reflected in the market also.

I think I'm on the lookout for a jewler who works with stones and gold.

I bought crocs

Oh! The shame. The lost glory! Oh how the mighty have been brought low.
(I'm currently reading Colleen McCullough's Antony and Cleopatra).
I went out tonight and did something I really didn't think I'd do, nor did I ever want to do. I bought crocs.
When I worked at home today, I didn't wear shoes all day. My feet and ankles felt allright until I sat at the desk for a couple of hours to get some serious work done - and after that, um, ok, I can't put sandals on anymore. I wore my flipflops to go get Eden, but really didn't like the idea of wearing them to work tomorrow.
So as soon as Eden was in bed, I went down to the mall to buy some crocs, seeing as they were the only shoes I could imagine feeling comfortable, providing support, and maybe looking decent? Two out of three aint bad.
Turns out, nobody sells crocs anymore. The only places I could buy them were toystores, which of course don't really have mirrors, so I bought them blind. I think that for a while, they were really in style, and so everyone was buying them, even though they looked horrible. Now, the style is a little old, so the only people who buy them are those who know exactly what they want - they have 3 pairs at home - or are people who are clearly not wearing them for looks. That's me in the last category.
It's not that I don't think they look great, I think they look terrible. I'm going to have to wear pants every day now, since they cover most of them. I actually bought black - how depressing is are black crocs?! - because I want to be able to wear them to work without standing out too much. And I like looking nice, and red or green just doesn't go with some of the nicer things in my work wardrobe. That's not to say I won't buy a pair of red or green in a month or so, just for variety. Seeing as I'll probably be wearing them for the next 3 months or so. Or rather, just not wearing anything else.

After all this, I must say that they are comfortable. After my sandals that I couldn't get into, these are a different species of shoe. I feel my hips sitting differently, perhaps the baby even sits differently with my feet feeling nicer. Maybe after a few weeks of wearing these, my feet will shrink back down to size and I'll be able to wear my regular shoes....

Just googled "black crocs pregnant" and found a bunch of other pregnant bloggers who did the same thing - black crocs to wear to work. Glad to know I've got company.

I'm Hooked

So, to follow up on my question from last post - is it worth it? I guess you all could tell me I told you so, but, I'm hooked. Despite a sprained ankle and many boutiques being closed by the time they got there (damn the sprained ankle!) we had a really good time. And it really does make a difference to go away.

Some cool things we saw:

• A cow running away from home down to the river, as we ate dinner (steak) across on the opposite bank. Can cows swim if they fall in?
• Lots of junk art galleries. What is it with artists who make things out of junk? Its a cool idea, but it gets a little tiring. I do like the wallhangings made of old plow equiptement though.
  
• The best humus and pita in the north. Ben had my salad, I couldn't get enough servings of hot fresh pita. The guy thought I wasn't so normal....
• Mt. Tabor. Wow, now that is a mountain. Very impressive.
• Lots of beautiful Arab cities. Call me sheltered (bigoted? I'm really not..), for some reason I thought Arab cities were run-down shanty towns. Maybe except for Abu Gosh. But some cities up there were really great. What an eye opener.
• Great place names. Mutzmutz! Lots of inspiration for our baby name, and lots of driving time to discuss it. No, its not Mutzmutz.
• A very not-cool thing we saw: Multiple parents (could they have been teachers!??) smoking on a school trip. Very uncool. Ben reminded me that 30 years ago, it would have been the middle schoolers smoking instead.
• Yummy jams and jellys for decent prices.
• The Kinnerret. Some day, when we make a million, I'm going to buy a beach house on the Kinnerret.
  

I can't believe how little I've been around this country. After spending 4 summers here, 2 years in seminary, and almost 8 years since then, I'd never been to Afula. Why would I ever need to go to Afula? But we got lost in Afula and I'm so glad that we did. I've seen a lot of mountains, trees, deserts. I want to see every more Afulas.

Now I'm torn with bringing Eden next time and just going ourselves again....I want to show all this to her also!

As could have been expected, Eden had a great time at her grandparents. They had a pizza slumber party with Sarah and Hila, I guess you can't beat that.

Completely separate note - recently, pairs of pigeons have been visiting me on my windowsills at work (perks of a corner cubicle). They look like they are so in love, and it really brightens my day. Their twitterpated! I love to watch them, and wish I could hear what they are saying. I sometimes think that I have a tendancy to get depressed in the spring....twitterpated birds do make it better somehow.

Crisis Here, Crisis There, Crisis Crisis Everywhere

Lately I feel like I'm at that arcade game where the alligators (Ben says they are hedgehogs) keep popping up and you need to bob their heads down.

There!
And There!
And There! Ooh there! Quick there!

No sooner do I finish dealing with one thing - or actually before I finish - up comes another one. I'm not going to talk about work on a blog where everyone knows my name, where I work, and some of my coworkers even read this. And I'm not going to talk about Ben's work either. But there is too much drama in my life. And too many things at once, and just simply not enough time to even think through them straight. I guess I just feel really overwhelmed, and then I remember that there is also laundry to do and that I don't have anything that I want to wear tomorrow.

We are taking a day up north this week, spending the day in Rosh Pina and staying at a guesthouse near the Kinneret. Should be fun, relaxing, just what I need. Best of all, Eden is staying with Ben's parents, something that will be good for her and good for us. Then why is this just stressing me out? Why do I feel the need to plan every minute of it, lest we have a bad time? Why do I resent the one less day I have this week to complete my work...surely it's worth it?

You could say its hormones, and I'll be the first to blame it on the hormones instead of take responsibility for the angry glares I've been giving, the times I've burst into tears in the middle of traffic, and my general snappiness. If only it was that easy.

Wouldn't it be nice if all a pregnant woman had to do was sit back and feel her baby kick? And think of names and maybe do a little decorating.....

Yom Haatzmaut

Eden did not get to see the fireworks. She was all hyped up for them, but then somehow forgot about it right before it was her regular bed time. She was tired and went to bed so easily, that we just COULDN'T make her stay up later. It would have been excruciating.
So when they started about 1.5 hours later, we rushed downstairs, sure that she would have woken up scared. Not a chance, nor was she going to wake up. No dice, and Ben missed the first few trying. The next morning, we decided not to mention it and kind of skimmed the topic. Oh well, maybe next year.
Yesterday we spent the morning in Park Canada, 10 min from Modiin on one side, and one of the two local forests and hiking spots (the other being the Ben Shemen forest, 10 min from Modiin on the other side). Wasn't very crowded, and only a little bit of garbage. Best of all, there were trees! Not really to sit in the shade (although we did), but to climb! Eden climbed trees for the first time, and I think it was a great ego booster, since she insisted on wearing her fake crocs that morning, which don't have much traction, and wern't serving her so well on the rocks she was climbing.
Then we headed back to Grandma and Grandpa's for a bbq, where Eden ate more than ever, and I discovered the wonders of excercise balls. Pictures sometime soon.

Eden's been singing Independence Day songs for weeks now, getting the reishes in "Eretz Yisrael Sheli Yafa veGam Porachat" (My Israel is beautiful and blooming) right every time! She's so obsessed with Yom Haatzmaut that everything her gannenet told her about Holocaust Rememberance Day and Memorial Day went out the window - she doesn't remember a thing. Also, she thinks that the upcoming Lag B'omer is also a party for the medina - mangal and medurah getting mixed up also.

Happy 61, Medinat Yisrael. We are so glad to be here. Baby too - kicking strongly to the tune of Hatikvah.

Brag Post Plus

I know its hard to listen to parents go on and on about how wonderful their kids are. Well oh well, that's what you get on a mom-blog.

I was just about to write a post on how big of help Eden was today when she came upstairs and started whining and complaining, touching everything in the room that I did not want her to touch, and generally being pretty annoying. Sometimes I feel guilty about having such little patience for those types of things. But after feeling guilty for too too long, I've decided that no mom is perfect, and if this is what she complains about in 20 years, then so be it.

Nonetheless I'll give credit when due, and today, Eden:

• Helped me vacuum by pushing it around behind me so that I wouldn't have to pull it
• Helped me wash mirrors and toilets
• Fetched random things for me, like new garbage bags, the stool, the window cleaner, and brought the stool back to the kitchen, and laundry to the hamper, and even put the garbage bag in the pail
• Washed the steps (she does this most Fridays, with very wet wipes. We're lucky if there isn't enough water on the floor underneath them afterward to wash the rest of the floor too...)
• Made her bed this morning! Totally without either of us prompting her to!

Really, what a big girl and what a big helper.

On another note, she's going through an odd clingy phase. I'm late leaving for work more often than not recently because she's up when I leave and crying that she wants me to stay with her. One day this week, I actually gave her a necklace of mine to wear so that she would have a bit of me all day with her. That seemed to do the trick, although Ben wasn't too pleased. He thought the other kids might get jealous and make fun of her. Indeed, when I went to pick her up, it was hidden, tucked into her shirt, because she said the other kids might call her "chutzpanit" (lit. "rude", but something along the lines of making fun of her, I guess...)

And on another note completely (this is the "plus"), I've been looking for a hanging fruit basket for AGES! I want to screw them into the ceiling above the divider between our dining room and kitchen because we always lose track of the fruit and vegies in our fridge and they end up going bad. It's very weird, nobody has them. Seriously, what a funny thing to not be able to find - they are under $15 in the US.

Hear, Hear

The Idle Parent: Don't take your kids to amusement parks or museums.

Although we are planning one day in Disney when we go back to the US in Nov....

I also seem to find it mind-numbingly impossible to sit on the floor and cut up little bits of paper with Eden, or draw endless butterflies with ears.

And you know? She's refreshingly resourceful and independent.

Bees in my Tummy

This morning, Ben went off to work as usual. Eden went off to gan - in Kaiser, another neighborhood that has a branch of her gan. Its not really gan today, since gan is closed, but the afternoon program is open so that parents can go back to work.
Eden was worried that none of her friends were going to be there, and that she would have no one to play with. Good for her for expressing it, although this is maybe the 3rd or 4th time in her life that she's been nervous about going to gan. I asked her if she had butterflies in her tummy, and she said no, bees. - ? - . She even tried to do what Winnie the Pooh does, and blow them out, but it didn't work. In the end, her friends were there and her afternoon teacher was there, and she was OK, although hesitant in a new place. You know, even though I'm sure that she will be fine, I'm nervous for her too - I think just because she's nervous. I'm really feeling what she's feeling.

I have a funny day today also. I have a mandatory vacation day, which is great, since its a day on my own, without Eden. I can completely transfer back to chametz, catch up on laundry and housework, and still have time to relax. But I feel funny, with no one to speak to and nothing really fun to do. (Switching over a kitchen and doing laundry is NOT fun. Going shopping for things that I really don't need would be fun, but it would also involve spending money. How do people spend time by themselves for extending days at a time without spending more money?!) I find myself speaking out loud... to nobody. I suppose its a good thing I have a blog.

So I'm putting off switching over. For example, I'm going to go out and buy some good storage containers to keep the Pesach things in, since our Pesach organization isn't that great. And while I'm there, I may as well do the weeks grocery shopping, which requires me to look up recipes and make menu lists before I leave. Ah and also, I have to start to take lunch to work. I can do some research about that before I leave. How do you plan dinners as well as lunches? And also get some laundry in. At this rate, I'll be lucky if the Pesach things are all put away by the end of the day......

Edit - 1:39 PM. Pesach things are all put away (did not buy the containers in the end, they are too expensive and we really don't need them), but its such a drag to take the chametz things out again and reorganize. I think I'll make a chicken pot pie with left over soup and a coffee cake instead.

And some more thoughts on the lines of the above: My goal during maternity leave is not to spend more money than I would have if I was driving to work every day. I can see myself either going to get very fat by baking things like above coffee cake, or spend a lot of money going out for breakfast with friends who are also on maternity leave. Or spend a lot of money going out by myself with the baby, and spending the money on gas that I was supposed to be saving by not going to work. And all at once. So, it would be nice to even come out ahead, but I think planning on at least breaking even is more realistic.

Emotional Growth Spurts

I don't know, maybe spending a day at home with your kid makes you more aware of how grown up they are. Or maybe, they really did take a recent jump in EI. I'll never know.
In any case. A list of the adorable and interesting things Eden's done recently, particularly today, since I spent the day with her. This is what being a mom is about, being able to blab (related to blog?) about it.

• Yesterday I had told her about how we were going to clean the fridge and the cabinets today, and then go grocery shopping for Pesach. Eden was really excited about it, and couldn't wait to dig in. This morning, when I started to clean the fridge, I said - Ok, Eden, let's go! And Eden said, No, Mommy, you gonna clean the fridge. I'm making the list. A manager after my own heart.
• On Friday, Eden made a Waldorf salad with Ben's mom, and had a bunch of apples and nuts. Friday afternoon, she came down with a throat infection and threw up in the car - all those apples and nuts. Today, as we were driving in the car, I suppose Eden felt a little sick again, and she said, Mommy, my apples are coming up. It took a minute for us to understand what she meant - she hadn't had any apples today - her first euphemism! We are all going to use it from now on. A few months ago, I had apples coming constantly...lots of apples coming up.
• We went out to dinner tonight at the new sushi place in Modiin Center. There are some kiddy rides there for 2 shekels. Eden wanted to go on one of the rides, but saw that we were busy. I'll give her the benefit of the doubt, and say that she didn't want to bother us. Because all of a sudden, I find her rooting around in my purse! When I asked her what she was looking for, she said, I'm looking for kesef (money). Do you have any kesef for the rides? She would have just taken it! I'm sure it was innocent, but I think a talk about money and stealing is coming up soon....
  

I was REALLY impressed with her in the grocery store. True, we didn't get much of our list because she lost the stamina. But listen to this.

• Grocery story #1 We went to get toothbrushes and they were all out of kids toothbrushes except for a bratz toothbrush. And this is the first time I had to say no because I felt something that she wanted was inappropriate. But I'm not brushing my kids teeth with an effigy of a slut that my kid thinks is pretty. Sorry. So we went back and forth a few times, and then Eden said, Ok Mommy so what I'm gonna get that you like instead. And we picked up a fun looking toothpaste. And then later on in checkout, I noticed that the toothpaste wasn't kosher for pesach and I told Eden and she was pretty worried about what we were going to get instead of her toothbrush. And I said, we will have to go to another store to get something else. And she said, OK, and that was it. (!!).
  
• Grocery story #2: Eden picked up a package of crunchy MSG and said that she wanted to snack on it in the store - OK, no problem. Then she saw the chocolate puddings and said, But Mommy why we never get those yogurts? Those yogurts are so very very yummy! So I said she could get a puddding, but she couldn't eat it until she got home, whereas the snack bag she could have now. Still she chose the yogurt, and watched over it in the cart for the rest of the day. She watched it at the checkout counter. Often reminded me, saying, Mommy right you said as soon as we get home I can have my yogurt? Right you said? Right I said, and she was so patient, and so good, that I decided to sit down at the snack area and let her eat it there.

And the tip top this-is-my-great-kid-story....

• We wrote up the grocery list all day, as we went along. I kept thinking of some more things to get, specifically for Eden - a new toothbrush (oh well...) and toothpaste, a new cup for her bed, popsicles or ice cream, a snack for the trip. And as I added more things to the list, she said, Mommy! We gonna buy so many things for me today! You're such a good mommy, you buy me so many things! I'll ignore the materialism in that sentence and just take what I can get.
  

Throat Infections May Prevent PPCD

The good news is that I most decidedly do not have PPCD (Pre-Pesach Cleaning Disorder) this year. Perhaps due to the pregnancy, or a throat infection, or Eden's throat infection, or nutty work schedule, my recent pre-disposition to laziness, or a combination of all of these.
I have never done this little for Pesach.
Actually, I have never done this little for so long a period in general.
We aren't making seder, and haven't even been asked to bring anything, except our beautiful daughter who will hopefully grace us with a decent Mah Nishtana, or at least part of it (time is running out, and she still doesn't know it! Does that make me a terribleJewish mom?). We gave the house a good clean a few weeks ago when my parents were here. The apartment is small, and what you see is mostly what you get. I'm not rifling through the pockets in my non-preg jeans to find chametz in there, nor am I looking through old clothes of Eden's - they are all packed away. Any chametz sitting in any of other place that I haven't looked at in a year (since last Pesach cleaning!) is either inedible or will be declared ownerless and as dust in the wind.
We still have the kitchen left to do. But even that - I am emptying out 2 tall floor to ceiling cabinets, and everything, including dishes and food, can go in there. Counters, sinks, stoves, fridge, are all bleachable. Oven, microwave - nuke it with poisonous cleaner and turn it on high. Kill it and its not chametz, and more than that I don't care.
Everything else is being shut up, sold, and not cleaned. I'm not buying much more than I would for a regular week - even less, since I love Matzah and jelly so much. I haven't cooked much in the past 5 months, and I don't expect to start now.
If I had thought about it, I would have tried to buy less chametz, starting even before Purim. I resolve to try to do so next year - that would make me feel less guilty about doing so little. I do so hate to throw good food in the garbage, and we have orzo, barley, kusemet, french fries....
People will try to tell you that there is a spiritual side to Pesach cleaning. That getting rid of the chametz in your house also enables you to get rid of the chametz in your soul. I suppose this is true, but is it maybe easier to look for the chametz in your soul when you aren't worn out and sick of cleaning your house? This is just a theoretical question, I do not commit to spending hours soul searching this month. I'll just try the usual - let's be a nicer, better, more caring and understanding person this month than I was last month. Maybe I'll even count Omer and get through the whole thing.
Don't think that I don't feel guilty for this. We aren't driving ourselves up the wall cleaning. We aren't planning a seder until 3 AM. We live in Israel and can buy everything we need the morning of the holiday at the local grocery store - especially since we eat Kitniot! We didn't spend a ridiculous amount of money on new clothes, cleaning services, and are not planning on buying kosher for pesach, kitniot free, gebrochts free MacNCheese. We are both working over chol hamoed, saving our vacation days. We just aren't stressing.
So what do we do? Sit back, enjoy the spring holiday, enjoy the seder discussion, the prayers, and time with family. Hopefully we'll take a little day trip with Eden (anyone want to join?). Being happy, content, mellow (sounds like my MIL's description of retirement. I suppose I could be happy retiring, for a week or so.) Sit still and try to feel my baby kick.
I do feel the need to justify and defend myself. Generations of Pesach nuttiness is too ground into me. How many generations will it take to introduce calm and serenity into Judaism?

You Know Your'e a Parent When . . .

....you are up in the middle of the night and microwave a potato and boil an egg for your kid's mock seder the next day.
Kudos to Ben - I had completely forgotten. Isn't that the type of thing a mom is supposed to do? I was fast asleep.

Eden has been singing "Vehi Sheamda" for a week now, and is really excited. Now if only I could get her to sing the "Ma Nishtana" the whole way through.