Last night I blew up at ETG's day care director. I was 15 minutes late, and I suppose they are pretty sick of me being late. But it was the end of the day, I had sat for over an hr in traffic, she was late and annoyed and I was furious at her judging me. So I was really mad. I felt really indignant - sometimes I have to stay at work later than expected, why shouldnt day care teachers? I can't stay later, but my office certainly has other people there that are late - why dont they have teachers there to cover a late shift?
There are so many feelings wrapped around this for me. I think I will probably forever hate my kids day care teachers. It doesnt matter how nice they are, how good they are to ETG, how much she thrives there (all 3 are true), I will always hate them for who they are, the other women in my kids life. I will always feel like they judge me. I will always feel like they are better moms to my kid than me.
Later, after a few good angry cries, I felt embarrassed. Embarrased, which caused anger. But so embarrassed, I didnt want to have to face them today. I wanted DH to call them and tell them how wrong they were. Read them the riot act. Fight for me!
I tried posting on a msg board that I sometimes visit, and they all ganged up on me. Im scared to go back there tonight and see how many more thought I was wrong for leaving her in a day care an hr from work, for coming late, for thinking that they should wait for me (I pay the late fees, without complaint!). That certainly made me feel better :~. I certainly wasnt looking for more people to tell me how wrong I was. Why couldnt they understand that I just wanted support?
Today I woke up and told DH not to call. Yes she pissed me off. Yes I was annoyed. But whatever solutions we need to find for getting there earlier (leaving work early, really) its between us. And I should just get over it.
It reminded me of all the other institutions where I just could not get along with the administration. I've really never liked them. Its odd, school administrators - day cares no different then high schools or colleges. We don't mix.
But today, I got over it. And thats something. Whoo hoo!
I Lost My Swim Meet
5 months ago
1 comment:
Great! You have a blog. Means we don't have to only catch up at Cheerfully changed. I can read all about you here. As for your daycare issues, don't feel bad. You are totally right in feeling the way you do. Yes, you do have to figure out a solution, but there is a general sense of entitlement here in this insane place that all service providers are doing you a favor. Every single one, from the gannanot to the banks, from the checkout ladies to the garbage men, think that getting paid to provide a service is not enough to justify performing that service properly. So yes! Get angry. If they tell you that there is a late fee, it means that they will be there late. And if they can't handle that, then there should be NO late fee. There should be NO OPTION of late pickup. Period.
Happy blogging!
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