Some about the guilt. . . and then that's it

Ok so here goes my full unshackling of the guilt. And hopefully after this, I'll be able to write about normal life and leave the rest for the unconscious.
I wonder sometimes if I would feel as much guilt as I do if I didn't work, or work so much. I mean where does it come from? Such painful, physically debilitating guilt does not come from something real, unless you've murdered someone or worse, which I have not done.
So does it come from being a working mom? Perhaps from being a Jewish mom? A Jewish working mom? Hoo boy that's a doozy. Why not just a mom, or just working?
I feel it all around me, every where I turn. Guilt for not being there enough, guilt for smothering her when I am. Guilt for being too tired to spend time with DH, guilt for running him down so he's too tired too. Guilt for not fitting into the clothes DH so generously bought me over the summer, guilt for not WANTING to cut down on the cake.
How about guilt for leaving a meeting early? How about this - leaving a training session early on a FRIDAY, when my boss only (very sheepishly I might add, I have a great boss) asked me to come in at 2:PM the day before? Why the hell do I feel guilty for that? And then of course feeling guilty that DH did so much for Shabbat and I did barely anything. Doubly guilty now because he's getting sick.
It's built into my bones, DH says. My mom is just as guilty, although who knows where she got it from - HER mom does not seem to know what guilt is. Forward looking always. (I can never be like them, the Caterpillar thought, looking at the beautiful butterflies.)
I wonder how my guilt will affect my kids, especially my daughters. Maybe they will make a point to never feel guilty. DH doesn't really, he lets it pass. I try not to let it affect my marriage, although sometimes it does. Sometimes I try to make DH feel guilty for something, but I forget that it just doesn't work - guilt does not affect him the way it affects me.
He says - accept it! It's there, let it be! So you're guilty of multi-tasking. Not devoting yourself to any one thing enough. Not so bad, at least I'm doing it all. Don't worry about it, and of course do not feel guilty about feeling guilty. Somewhere it has to stop. So here goes. Embracing the guilt.
Lets count how many posts I can write without mentioning the word guilt.